Get back to work!

We start 'em early.

the problem is _______________

we had this really incredible afternoon, uhmmmm, i think it was a couple of weeks ago? mark and one of the boys had picked out some ice cream in the morning while they were out. so i thought it'd be a good idea to have an ice cream snack with daddy before he left for his evening job at jb music. able and shiloh had missed their nap. the day had been one of those that just catches up with you. we dished out some ice cream, but our nice time with daddy before work didn't turn out quite as i had in mind. the kids were hyper and crazy - not listening when i instructed them to quiet down - interrupting our attempts at conversation - and mark was distracted at the computer for half of the time - not really with us . . . so when mark gave the word that he needed to run, i just about melted in disappointment. feeling frazzled, i left everyone at the table with strict orders to not make a noise, watched mark drive off, and shut myself in the little entry room at the front door to be ALONE. full of tears, i remember crying out to God. i usually do in those moments. but it was not a prayer of faith, just desperation. a what is wrong with me and why am i so upset and some complaints of sorts and a pleading "HELP!" kind of prayer.

the amazing part of this story is God's answer. somehow?!?!, even though my thoughts were pretty jumbled, i was able to sort out 2 problems. the first was that i was full of expectations for our "family time snack" and hadn't communicated those ideas to mark. so getting mad at him wasn't gonna fix anything. i had to put that trouble aside for the moment. second, the kids were disobeying me, and instead of correctly correcting them, i got angry.

so i came back to the table and the very quiet kids. i had resigned myself to a very long and miserable evening, but knew i at least need to confess for being angry. and in my waaaaaaaay too many words (another usual of what i do in those moments) i started off telling them something like this: "i was really wrong to yell at you. it was wrong for me to be angry with you. will you please forgive me?" . . . they did . . . "you know, i get angry a lot. but i want you to know that i REALLY love you. i think sometimes you might think that i don't love you when i get angry at you. hmmm. the thing is that i'm not really angry at you, but at your disobedience. the problem is (and here's where the lights not only went on, but the lights were flashing!!! whoa, this is great!!!) hey, daddy and i have been reading a book that talks about this! the problem is: when i give you instructions you don't obey right away or you have bad attitudes with me. so what i really should be getting angry at is the problem that is between us, not at you. but . . . okay let me show you on the marker board!"

so i drew something like this picture. i explained that the brother and sister in the picture have a BIG problem between them. we came up with some pretty crazy examples and had a great time laughing over them. so here's one example: the sister has a toy that the brother wants (or was already playing with or something like that)
now the brother usually sees his sister as the problem and gets angry at her.
if he punches her in the nose, what do you think she will do?
do you think she will give him the toy? NO WAY! she will whine and scream and make a big fuss and go tell mom among many other things.
and then the brother might call her a baby and a tattletale and so forth.
what happens to the problem? the problem just turns into a monster and gets bigger and bigger.
so what should the brother and sister do? how can they make the problem go away? they need to think about what the problem is and then talk about it.
so what is the problem? the problem is that the brother and sister both want the same toy.
then instead of attacking each other, they can attack the problem by talking about the problem.
brother: can i play with that toy?
sister: no, i'm playing with it.
brother: but i had it first. i had to go to the bathroom and put it down. i was coming right back to play with it again. sister: well, i have an idea! how about we take turns?!?

some the beauties of this are that as the children learn to communicate respectfully toward one another, they are also finding ways to resolve their problems without ever having to even involve the mommy who doesn't like playing the figure out what's fair in this situation game!

this was just the beginning of my waaaaaay too many words. we continued at the table for well over an hour! i know, my kids are amazing! to sit that long and participate! even the littles! AND we had the BEST time laughing and talking and learning together!!! (we talked about another big issue troubling our family too, but that will be saved for a future blog.) anyways, what i really wanted to share was that God used the troubling circumstance, and then our loooooong table talk to unexpectedly solve an issue that has troubled our family for a long time. this might not seem like a big deal, but it has been huge for this momma. for so long i have wanted a solution to the endless arguments and troubles. this day and conversation was something that i have longed for for sooo long. and this is just the beginning!

another cool thing was that mark and i have been reading a book called "the heart of anger" by lou priolo together each tuesday morning. it had been weeks before that we had read the chapter illustrating this problem lesson. God timed our reading, my understanding, the troubles, and then let us learn something all together by putting what we read into practice! and it seems that God had me wait until i could see the need to reach my children's hearts, not just fix the problem.

then to top it off, i got a text message from mark apologizing for overlooking the table trouble. he never sends me little i love you messages like that. it was sweet! i called him up to ask a question about something, thank him for the text, and tell him something awesome was happening in our home (but i'd fill him in later). then i received an e-mail from the front counter at jb music?! it was another sweet message from mark!! by the time mark got home i was so hyper. just thrilled and excited at what God was teaching me and our children - together!!

of course, the newness has worn off. the following day was totally rough! and we've definitely had our normal share of problems that are unresolved and continue to trouble us. there is really no "fix it" solution that changes our hearts from selfishness and sin. but there is one "fix it' that gives me hope to press on. and that is that we have a God who is bigger than our troubles. He loves us and is always working to win our hearts and show us that He is the answer to our problems!

God's provision.

Here's a little view of my shop.

Ups and Downs

Here's a video of Geldan's ups and downs.
He was having an emotionally indecisive evening.
Naturally, it was funnier just before I started recording.

sprinkler fun.

I talked to my dad on the phone after dinner tonight. He told Owen to tell me to get out the sprinkler to play in. So, like an obedient son, I went straightway to the garage to get the sprinkler. We had much fun.

:)

so i've been trying to begin this epic blog thing that i've had on my heart to share for some time now but my brain is running in circles of sanctification and hope and i keep getting off the subject i started out wanting to talk about and now it's late and not much makes sense because i must be tired . . . yet i can't stop because i'm so hyper about what God is teaching me so i want to share it with others and maybe tomorrow i can get back to the point that i'm reading this really good book called a heart of anger so stay tuned and sooner or later i'll get my thoughts together enough to hopefully build others up instead of driving them crazy with run on sentences that do not have an end just like the blog that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends, some buddy started typing it not knowing what it was that she wanted to say and she'll continue typing it forever just because this is the blog that doesn't end, yes it goes on and on . . .

chicken pox

we have the chicken pox.
our children were exposed to the chicken pox 2 weeks ago (tuesday, may 10).
we have been expecting them to be contagious just about now.
- on the lookout for fevers and spots beginning this weekend.
hogan had them when he was about 8 months old.
owen, leannora, nikao, able, and shiloh had them 2 years ago.
shiloh had a light case, so we thought she might get them again.
and geldan has not yet had them.
we know this is a touchy subject to some folks, but . . .
WE prefer to let the children build up a lifetime immunity by naturally exposing them to this fairly harmless, though very inconvenient childhood disease.
therefore, we knowingly visited a family who unknowingly caught the chicken pox.
oddly enough, we had been planning to visit this family for weeks.
very last minute we were informed of the chicken pox and had to make a decision.
we decided to take the chance, enjoy fellowship, and possibly share some spots.
anyways (sorry, i'm such an over-explainer!) . . .
nikao surprized us last night by revealing a back full of spots while getting ready for bed last night (sunday, may 22).
this caught us totally off guard because we know he has already had the chicken pox.
also, we kept the little ones - our suspected spot sharers - home from meeting with the church on sunday to consider those who would not want to be exposed.
so we have unknowingly let nikao, who is highly contagious (until his pox marks dry up and scab over), expose the chicken pox to others.
we are very sorry if this news causes any concern for others!
we also (as previously planned) spent the weekend at the non-toxic teen center painting the girls bathroom electric pink. (we'll have some pictures up on that later.)
so our chicken pox germs might be floating around there.
sorry, that was probably dumb timing on our part!
we may be contagious and/or carriers of the chicken pox for a few more weeks.
so until we know we are free and clear, we'll try to lay low and stay home for a while.
anyone is welcome to visit who's not afraid of the chicken pox.
and i should add . . .
we are not opposed to sharing, but do not want to share with just anybody.
chicken pox parties are out of our comfort zone.
and sharing with strangers is just a bit strange.
kimfor the bunch of us milligans

House bummer & my sin.

So, our house buyer just said they want to back out of the offer to purchase. That's a bummer. But, God knows best. It's good to rest in Him who has endless and perfect wisdom, love, compassion, mercy, knowledge, faithfulness, etc. etc....

Also, I heard a lecture by Jerram Barrs today. It is the first in his class on Apologetics and Outreach. It was beautiful. He challenges his class to imitate Christ - specifically in the way He was not very welcomed by the "righteous", but very much by the "sinners". Jesus was called "a friend of sinners." That was His reputation. And, I have a difficult time being friendly with people I don't agree with much. Did Jesus agree with very many people? Did He let that get in the way of asking good questions, showing them much care, and pouring love and patience and grace over many hurting and wretched people ... .. like us? If Jesus had the tolerance, patience, love, mercy, and compassion I have, there would be no Christians - no sacrifice - no life. God, grant me the love for people that will drive me to seek them out. Let me find your glitters of "common" Grace in those most wretched among us, and may I speak highly and think highly of them based upon Your work within them. Whether I find them to be good husbands, or skilled teachers, or artisans in trade, or well-spoken, or men of justice, or whatever, let me credit both them and ultimately You. Teach me humility as I begin to love people enough to search them gently, and challenge them to reach for Life - knowing that I am but a poor blind beggar who has been touched by a healing Spirit. Thanks for your uncommon and fruitful grace upon those whom You've called out, Lord Jesus.

-Mark

new news

nope, we're not expecting baby milligan #8, yet.
just planning milligan move #11 :)


so a lots been happening around here lately.
we've been thinking about putting our house on the market this spring.
at the beginning of the month mark decided we'll go ahead and give it a try.
he gave us 2 weeks to get the house ready to be listed.
we signed papers with our realtor april 14th.
last week we had 4 showings. . .
today we signed papers to accept an offer!
11 days on the market.
less than a month since we decided to get the house ready to sell.
if all goes smoothly, we will close on june 30th.
then the new owners have given us the option of renting the house from them until they can move in at the end of august.
and since we don't know what we're doing next, it seems that God is just taking good care of us.
the children have been doing a great job helping and are excited about future adventures awaiting our family.
we're just waiting on the Lord to lead, hopefully in faith and not foolish wanderlust.
since we don't have the green light to move to dixon yet, we are planning to stay close to edgerton.
edgerton has become our home.
mark's business has been established here.
and God has given us a wonderful church family!
but we are open to God changing our plans and moving us just about anywhere in His timing.
so ya'll can be praying as you please!

the children think a log cabin would be great.
but this is probably a bit too cozy, dontcha think? :)

Easter Bubbles

Here we are playing with bubbles on Easter day. It was a nice lazy day, which is good because we haven't had one of those in awhile.

Mark's Birthday Blog

Here are my birthday presents. Owen made them for me. They are tools for working on instruments.

Here are some fun pix with my "looking glass tool."

some milligan happenings in march

we've had a few beautiful days early this spring.
the children begged to dig out their bikes from the garage.
leannora mastered riding her bike without training wheels one of those days!

able in his favorite "happy birthday" shirt

shiloh wanted to help hold "dahldee" (geldan) too

nikao had been requesting shiloh's rhinocerous hairdoo?!?!
we later realized he meant triceratops


some of the boys doing some bedtime reading

hats off to ya geldan, you can fold in half & eat your toes!

just a crack up picture of cutie shiloh

(oopsie, just realized these 2 are sideways)
mark and the boys playing in legoland

YIKES, STRIPES!

Fighting, loving, etc.

We read a story for school recently that included a bully, a farm boy, and an old prairie school. It brought up some interesting challenges to talk about. When is it alright to fight? When do you fight back in defense? How do we "turn the other cheek?" How do we love our enemy and bless those who persecute us? I thought our church assembly this morning was of interest to this subject.

Numbers 20:5 was read. It is where Israel once again grumbles against Moses and God. They ask Moses "Why did you bring us up out of Egypt to this terrible place?". In this question they forget to take their own responsibility for their predicament. They were there because of their own sin and rebellious hearts.

Also, we prayed for wisdom for how a family will relate toward their aging parents. Someone noted that parents must do things that their young children don't like "for their own good", and in the same way the roles can reverse with aging parents.

I also noted how the Father led Jesus into the wilderness to test him with hard things. It was for the best - His best and our best!

My thought on all this is simply this: God's true love (the kind He wants all of us to know and practice) is often mislabeled as hatred or malice. I think the Israelites in the above passage is a clear example. God would not have loved them as much if He resigned to just giving them the land in spite of their rebellion. Remember Hebrews 12, "Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all," and Jeremiah, "Though I completely destroy all the nations among which I scatter you, I will not completely destroy you. I will discipline you but only in due measure; I will not let you go entirely unpunished." Sometimes the best thing for someone (a blessing) is the very thing they think a curse. At least, this has been true for me. Bless the name of the Lord, for He has shown me sonship!

So, how do we bless those who persecute us? I think it may have less to do with violence vs. passivism and more to do with love vs. hate. Remember Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 5, "hand this man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord."

God, teach me to see your love in the midst of my trouble, and then empower me to imitate You as I attempt to love my family and neighbors. May your name always be exalted!

-Mark

wintertime wonders

it's been a wonderful winter so far this year. we've not been continually dumped with snow. nor have we had to endure extremely cold temperatures for too long. the house has been roasty toasty with our woodstove blazing. we've enjoyed being creative indoors, accomplishing a few projects and lotsa crafty creations. and the children are big enough to get themselves ready for outdoor play without much help from the momma.

we've built snowmen, snow forts, a snow cave,

thrown snowballs, and gone sledding a few times.

the weather has been warming up quite a bit and the children are now itching for spring. the momma is content to keep spring waiting because she doesn't like mudland and has some more things to knock off her to do list inside before we give our attention to the outdoors again.
so we're making the most of our indoor days and loving our adventures with our bunch of kiddos.

shiloh will be 2 very soon.
once our shy, sober one,
she has found her jubilee and now is miss charming!

at 4 months, geldan has found his fingers.
he is incredibaby, a delight to us all!!!

Adam's Party

Here's a snapshot of Adam's camera.

This is a photo of the artwork at Chuck's Southern Comfort.

This is a video of the lights at the Whirlyball place.

Here is a motion picture of Margie's Ice Cream.


Lots of fun. Thanks gentlemen. And I'm looking forward to the wedding celebration next week. Hooray for Adam and Leslie and what God will do with them.

Christmastime cuties

geldan erik & shiloh jubilee

can these cute kiddos really be mine?!?!